haha hello all to counterpart and everyone,
d
thank you for all your comforting comments but i have a good news to share!

My mum wrote a letter on my behalf to NUS, telling them that I am very sad (is true). and so they helped me send a second appeal and THANK GOD, i got back the money! this is really something to celebrate about! it is a miracle really!! YAYS

There are things that I learnt through this incident

1) We cannot take things for granted.
it is not about the money. but we cannot take things that God has bless us with for granted. We cannot take His grace for granted

2) There are many more things, like life and love and health and your love one, that money cannot buy. that's what my taiwan friend told us. that the real things in life that money can't buy, are the most precious things in life. and i want to thank God especially for my mummy who helped me so much!

and some other important key takeaways from this exchange

contentment is very important. I think i am often so uncontented with what I have, and always comparing the experiences of others to what I have. and often i can become so miserable, only seeing the things that I don't have.

But when I really look back at all the experiences that I have, I realised that there is actually NO ROOM for comparison. and taking it for granted yet again, i am actually so blessed and loved by God, family and friends.

and now i am going home soon. BOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

and still..

I have many lingering thoughts.

through Auckland and exchange, I realise there is one way to be popular.

Drinking and partying. people get very friendly when they party. They will get many friends and be the envy of many.

Sometimes I wonder why i have so little "ang moh" friends on exchange. is it because I didn't try hard enough? and that I should be sociable since the world is like that. because if i don't, i might lose out on many things.

then again a soft voice comes to me again and again. that I am loved for who I am. and He is proud of me. and that people may not understand, but its okay, He sees it.

Desert Song

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

In such a time like this, I asked myself if I am still able to sing this song.

After 6 months, NUS sent me a email, saying they want to take back the NASA award. What rights do they have to take it back once they have given out? it is a screwed up system.

But through it all, I know the Lord is teaching me. but its reasons that i still have not really understood. but i thank God for the closest people, mummy especially, who stood by me, just to hear me cry.

So i wonder why God allow this to happen? For me to pray more? or is it a punishment of some form?
I don't think He'd love me any lesser though. so why.
perhaps to know all these belong to Him in the first place. and if all these belongs to Him in the first place, no one can take them away.

I will still praise YOU through this desert.

I wonder if some ugly things about me is showing.

When I was in Auckland, I felt that I couldn't clique with my seniors but at the end of the day, I actually found them pretty nice people

O lord. I surrender it all to you. Knowing that God, you love me. and I don't have to be someone that I am not.

oh man where has jiali khoo disappeared to for 1 entire month?


Magnificent Scotland


Yes my dear mummy came. like i have mentioned.

Then it was Barcelona, Croatia, Berlin, Amsterdam.

Amsterdam was a huge surprise for me. Even though it was a place with "coffee shops" (drugstores) and red light district, I saw the Holland that I was looking for.

Thanks to Ziyun. and Charlene too. I am really happy and thank God for them because they have been such a blessing to me in Amsterdam.

I did not know they stayed with Ziyun's family (uncle and auntie) and so I got a shock when Ziyun said " You know I live with my uncle right?" then i was like "huh?!"

so yes, i went to the rural areas (20 mins away from amsterdam city) and stayed in a house, met singaporean couple with their family, and they cooked meals that reminded me of home. I told them I missed chicken rice, and TAH DAH, there was chicken rice for dinner on the 2nd day.

The best part was Ziyun's uncle and auntie were really nice. They brought me to see Vollerdam and some fishing town, ate fresh and good fish and chips, and to see windmills and cheese. There were many ah tiongs, but tt's beside the point. (you can see them in the photograph!)

I really had fun. :D It was good to catch up with the friends that are still close to your heart.

and more than that, i met someone that I dearly missed.

yes yes, its Eleta. :) We had a splendid time doing the walking tour.



and many more things. like just sitting over pizza and catching up, eating croissants, having all our heart-to-heart, going to the red light district, shopping for stroopwaffles.

It is really God's grace that we can meet this time. so thank you jesus.